“If prevention organisations won’t even use the word ‘suicide’, how can we expect to reduce it?”
‘It’s the stigma from the inside that hurts most, and we need to start talking about it’ — Jas Rawlinson, Best-Selling Author of ‘Reasons to Live: One More Day, Every Day.’
Stigma.
It’s such a small word, and yet one that creates an unimaginably powerful ripple-effect.
When it comes to mental health, most of us know that stigma remains one of the largest contributors to untold suffering, heartache, distress, and pain for millions around the world.
As someone with a lived experience of depression, anxiety, and PTSD, I know this too well. Even today, I am still shocked by the level of stigma that is both projected — and internalised — by many in our own communities.
However, in the three years I’ve spent raising awareness as an author, speaker, and writing coach, it’s not only the stigma projected by everyday community members, workplaces, or even doctors, that is dangerous.
It’s also the damaging attitudes and opinions of those within suicide prevention organisations.
It’s the comments and remarks — made by organisations — that have led to survivors of suicide and mental illness sharing some of the most heartbreaking and dark secrets with me; secrets that should leave those who uttered them, bowing their heads in shame.
It’s the censoring of lived experience voices by ‘experts’ who feel that it’s dangerous to talk about suicide.
“Don’t use the word ‘suicide.’”
“You can’t tell that part — cut it out…” “Your story is too ‘raw;’ people might be triggered.”
These are all real examples of how suicide survivors have been treated by prevention organisations.
And it’s this inside stigma around lived experience stories that many, including myself, want to see addressed…survivors like *Ryan, an Australian mental health ambassador and international speaker who has saved countless lives with his personal story, and yet, admits he was at one point almost shamed into silence.
“I’ve had suicide prevention figures tell me to leave out the part about my suicide attempt,’” he shared with me. “[In the past] it affected me; made me doubt myself, my journey, and telling my story.”
“That is stigma in my opinion. How much shame do you think that creates?! Let me tell you, shitloads of shame.”
Ryan, who has spoken internationally as well as around Australia, says his story has since helped thousands around the world, with almost 50 people contacting him to share that his story has directly saved their lives.
“These organisations need to know it’s their advice and rules that are damaging — not people’s stories.”
Like Ryan, I too have witnessed this stigma for myself, and while I strongly support non-graphic and non-sensationalised reporting of suicide attempts, if we are ever to make a dent in our country’s tragic statistics, I believe we must stop cotton-wooling the subject and censoring the voices of survivors.
Because contrary to popular opinion, there is no proven link between talking about suicidal thoughts or attempts, and an increase in suicide.
As evidenced in 30 years of crisis hotline experience, and 20 years of school-based prevention programs, research has in fact ‘failed to document any cases of stimulating suicidal behaviour through the discussion of the topic.
Rather, it is exposure to particular types of media reporting, such as ‘sensationalist, glamourising stories,’ that is associated with ‘increased risk of suicidal behaviour, rather than exposure to discussion of suicide more generally.’ (Headspace, Mythbuster: Suicide Ideation).
Yet, even still, fears around suicide-contagion remain extremely strong.
As a result, some suicide-prevention organisations are now fearful of even using the word ‘suicide’ itself.
This is a reality I discovered for myself after meeting with a key staff member from a well-known suicide-prevention organisation.
Sitting in a lovely cafe on that day, we shared openly about our mutual passion for empowering people to break through the stigma of suicide, when this person expressed interest in knowing more about my work as a writing coach for individuals who have overcome severe trauma or suicide attempts.
“Just one thing — you don’t let them mention anything about ‘methods’ in their stories, do you?” the person asked.
Now, at this point, I feel it’s important to mention that whilst I strongly advocate against suicide being reported in a graphic or sensationalised way, I also strongly believe that it’s important for survivors to be able to tell their stories authentically.
Given that we had just had a discussion about the importance of breaking down stigma and supporting lived-experience voices, you can imagine my shock when this person advised me that suicide survivors — when sharing about how they transformed their lives — should avoid mentioning anything about their attempts.
Further, I was advised that I would not be permitted to share this organisation’s work with my own network, unless I ensured my projects refrained from any mention of suicidal methods — not even the word ‘suicide.’
That was when I discovered just how deep stigma runs within organisations themselves.
As someone who takes great pride in helping to empower survivors of trauma to tell their stories authentically, and in ways that change lives, I walked away from that meeting with many questions.
Mostly, though, I walked away with a deep feeling of disappointment; disappointment, that people who had already been silenced so greatly through the shame and stigma of mental illness, were now facing further stigma when they tried to speak out.
‘Why even have campaigns encouraging people to speak out about their struggles, if only to tell them their stories are too ‘raw’? I thought to myself.
‘What’s the point of putting a huge emphasis on recognising “lived-experience,” if those who are survivors have to censor their stories to a bland, highly-edited version?’
I thought again of Ryan. Would his story have created such a positive ripple effect if he’d chosen to keep secret the details around his suicide attempt?
If he’d softened the pain of his journey and merely stated, ‘Several years ago I tried to end my life…and then I sought help and recovered,’ would he have received almost 50 emails in the past few years from people all around the globe whose lives had been saved as a direct result of hearing his story?
Personally, I don’t believe so.
It’s an opinion also shared by documentary filmmaker and suicide prevention speaker Kevin Hines, whose powerful story of surviving an attempt from the Golden Gate Bridge has been met with strong opposition from many organisations over the years — including Australia.
“When I released my film ‘Suicide the Ripple Effect,’ several Australian organisations came out in force, lobbying to shut down some of our screenings,” he shared with me. “They put out a press release before they’d even seen the film.
“Yet, more than 300 people came up to us and said the film — in that moment [of watching] — saved their life.”
While Hines agrees that talking about suicide in graphic detail, or ‘leaving the audience in pain’ without any information as to how the individual recovered, is dangerous, he disagrees that it is dangerous for survivors to talk about methods so long as they follow up with ‘recovery, tools and tricks, and physical resources to take home.’
“There is absolutely no evidence behind naming the suicide method [in stories of lived-experience recovery] and it leading to suicide,” he stated passionately.
Further, he believes it is damaging to ‘give survivors a voice and then make them voiceless’ — something Ryan agrees with wholeheartedly.
“It hurts my soul to think of people wanting to share their story, their special and unique life journey, only to be shamed, silenced or edited by this sort of advice from large organisations.”
As an advocate, I know my stance won’t stand well with some organisations — however, I’m prepared to go against the grain.
Why? Because I believe the only way we will truly make change is to elevate the voices of those who have walked through the fire, survived, transformed their pain into purpose, and can now speak hope into the lives of those still surrounded by the flames of hopelessness.
These are people who have the power — as survivors of suicide — to reach those who government campaigns have failed to.
These are people who have survived some of the most dark and difficult things you could possibly imagine, and yet, have refused to give up.
These are brave men and women who have chosen to break the stigma around their trauma, in order to spread the message: ‘There is a way out; there is a reason to live; we’re in this together, and you’re not alone.’
So, to those within the suicide prevention industry, I ask you this: please, listen to the voices of survivors. Please support us, instead of trying to silence us.
Our stories aren’t pretty; our stories aren’t perfect. But that’s what makes them so powerful.
That’s what helps change and saves lives.
